Do opposites attract?

By now I don't think it's much of a secret that I love me a good chick flick. And when it comes to the chick flick genre, I think we can all agree that The Notebook is a staple in any solid collection. Not only are Allie and Noah the cutest things to ever grace this planet, but I would probably give up my first born child if it meant that Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling were going to get back together. While that last part may be a pipe dream, Allie and Noah seemed to fare a bit better on the romantic front. Sometimes it seems kind of weird how that worked out since they came from such different walks of life. But then again, opposites attract! Or do they...

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Okay for this particular couple calling them opposites might be kind of a stretch. But hey, we've seen the straight up opposites attract concept in many a movie before (Sandy and Danny, anyone?). Unfortunately we never get to see how the kiddos in Grease turned out in order to make an accurate critique, so for now Allie and Noah will have to do. Plus, I know I'm not the only one out there who memorized almost every line in this movie, so we all remember learning that "they didn't agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday. But in spite of their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other." 

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And that quote pretty much hits the nail on the head. "They didn't agree on much, but they did have one important thing in common." No two people are exactly alike and relationships can totally work if you disagree on the little things. But you do need to agree on some things. Does it really matter that my boyfriend absolutely hates my taste in television? As near and dear as reality tv is to my heart, I don't really care that he thinks it's the stupidest thing he's ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Although he has been a trooper, (he can actually name all the Kardashians now!) I don't really mind that he runs the other way when he sees me reach for the remote. It's definitely not a deal-breaker for me, but everyone does have their own version of deal-breakers and that's where you'll start to see some problems.

In fact, it's probably a lot more accurate to say that complementary personalities attract. Are you someone who likes to talk a lot? Then you'll probably match really well with someone who prefers to listen. Do you like to plan everything out in advance? Well then you might get along really well with someone who's a little more laid back and lets you take the reigns. I would say Allie and Noah fall more into this category. They may bicker a little bit, but they see eye to eye on the important stuff and that's what matters. It's only when it comes to true opposites that it gets a bit tricky.

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 Everyone has some core values that they will probably never budge on. Now I don't like talking in absolutes because there is an exception to every rule, but frankly in order for a relationship to last the couple needs to align on their core values. If we compromise on our central values and attitudes then the chances of the relationship being completely fulfilling are slim to none. If all you've ever wanted in life is to start a family, do you really think you could be with someone who never wants kids? It might work out for a little while, but eventually you'll probably start to feel resentment since your values don't match up.

Now don't get me wrong, compromise is a part of every relationship. Maybe it means you stop eating tuna because your partner can't stand the smell or you rotate whose family you visit on Christmas each year. But you also see compromise when it comes to more stable characteristics. You might decide that you'd be willing to give up X in a partner if it means you can have Y instead. Hugh Hefner and his playmates are a pretty great example for this. So indulge me if you will.

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Do you really think the the Playboy girls are looking at Hef thinking he's the hottest thing they've ever seen? Probably not, especially when Ryan Gosling is still out there running around. But, he can provide some pretty awesome resources (and hopefully a good personality) that seem to balance out the overall relationship equation. They're opposites on the outside, but probably not so much on the inside. Hopefully their must-haves in a partner have been completely met and they can have a long (I guess this is a relative term when you marry an 86 year old man??) and happy marriage!

Do you think opposites attract? What couples out there scream opposite to you? Let me know in the comments!

Friday's Fashion Finds: Watches

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I haven't always been into watches, but ever since I received one for Christmas last year they've been one of my go-to accessories. Not only are they super stylish and can dress up any outfit, but they actually serve a legitimate purpose! Gotta love functional fashion! 

Here are some of my top picks!

Menswear

(Charming Charlie)

Now in a perfect world I would probably be rocking a Rose Gold Michael Kohr's watch on the regular, but this girl lives on a budget. So when I found this dupe from Charming Charlie for under $30 you can bet I swooped in there and snatched that baby up. I reach for it every day and it shows limited signs of wear and tear so I'm super excited about that! I love the menswear vibe, but the rose gold metal keeps it feminine which is an important part of my personal style.

Patterned Face

(Charming Charlie)

Usually I try to be diverse with the stores I decide to feature on here, but HOW CUTE IS THIS? For real guys, I couldn't find anything similar that I liked nearly as much, so it's Charming Charlie's lucky day! They had so many of these pattern face watches which I thought were so cute for spring! They had lots of different patterns to choose from and they were all in pastel shades (you know how much pastels make me happy)! Because they had so many I feel like they must be on trend and will start to pop up all over the place once spring gets rolling. These are a lot daintier than the menswear pieces so you could definitely wear this with other jewelry too which I always think is nice.

Layering

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While the watches on their own can look nice, I love stacking them with other bracelets as well! Lately I've been in a "more is more" kind of mood when accessorizing my outfits and I refuse to apologize! I especially love how this look keeps with the cohesive color scheme while varying with the styles and textures of each piece. It really ties it all in!

Please share what your favorite accessory of the moment is? Are you a watch person or is your cellphone clock all you need?

Until next time!

Target Make-Up Haul

It's been a few days since I came back to school after spending a week at home for Spring Break. While I would have loved to have been lounging on the beach last week, being at home means having access to a car which also means shopping!

I hit up Target before heading back to campus for some affordable new make-up finds and I wasn't disappointed!

Sonia Kashuk Perfecting Luminous Foundation in Creme

First off, let me just say my skin has NOT been my friend lately. I've been desperately looking for a foundation with more coverage than the other drug store brands I've been using. Unfortunately they were out of what probably would have been my color for this foundation, but I really wanted to try this brand! I decided to go a shade darker as opposed to a shade lighter, but it is definitely too orange for me. I've been blending it with a lighter shade of the Revlon Photo Ready and it makes it match my skin better. It also has more coverage which I am very pleased about! Definitely needs a setting powder though, it leaves me pretty shiny without.

E.L.F. Studio Small Stipple Brush

I wouldn't say this is the best brush ever made (the top is already a separating from the handle, nothing a little dot of super glue can't fix), but I guess that's what you get for $2.99! Overall I'm a fan of the brush though. I think the new foundation combined with the new brush have definitely made a difference in the coverage I've been getting. I stipple it on and then blend it in by doing circular motions which works out quite nicely.

Maybelline Dream Wonder Powder in Ivory

I've never used a powder that really provided real coverage on it's own before and I love it! It advertises build-able coverage and I would say that that is pretty accurate. I have dry skin in general so I don't need a lot of mattifying, but the foundation does leave me a little shiny as I mentioned and this takes care of that. I'm used to translucent powders so I didn't realize that a little goes such a long way in terms of color payoff, which as nice but be sure to use it sparingly! 

NYC Sun 'n' Bronze Bronzing Powder in Fire Island Tan

I love this as an affordable bronzer. NYC is notoriously inexpensive even within the drugstore realm. This particular bronzer works pretty well, but if you don't like shimmer than you won't like this. It definitely has a little bit of sparkle to it (not glitter) but I think it will look awesome in the summer when the sunlight catches it!

Let me know your favorite drugstore products and if you have any secrets to clear skin!

Ezra Fitz: Cute or Creepy?

So how about that Pretty Little Liars season finale earlier this week?! Now this is a spoiler free blog, but my ask box on tumblr is open for comments on the cliff hanger! However, what I did want to talk about this week is the PLL power couple: Ezra Fitz and Aria Montgomery.

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So clearly Ezra Fitz is a dream boat. He's gorgeous, sensitive, educated--a guy you'd definitely want to bring home to meet the fam. The only problem? He seems to think it's okay to have a romantic relationship with a 16 year old girl. Oh, and did I mention he's her English teacher? So yeah, maybe he was too good to be true.

Ever since I saw the pilot for PLL the Aria/Ezra story line made me EXTREMELY nervous. ABC Family walks a very dangerous line by portraying a romantic student/teacher relationship in a positive light. Millions of teenagers tune into the show each week and the last thing they need to be learning is that a fling with their teacher is peachy keen. 

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So there are few different reasons why Ezra and Aria's relationship is insanely problematic. When they first get together Aria is entering her junior year of high school and Ezra his starting is first year in the workforce. This puts Aria around 16 and Ezra around 23. Now a 7 year age difference might seem like nothing when you're in your 30s, but the developmental differences between a 16 and a 23 year old are pretty significant. The prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain that controls your judgement (calculating risk, predicting consequences, controlling impulses) and it doesn't fully develop until your mid 20s. That's the biggest reason a 16 year old is not legally able to consent to a sexual relationship with an adult. Their brain doesn't allow them to really understand what's going on.

Although the show does dance around the fact that they need to keep their relationship a secret, no one ever acknowledges that Aria isn't old enough to give consent and this relationship is super illegal. If their relationship ever became public knowledge, Ezra would lose his job, but he'd also be considered a registered sex offender. That's some pretty heavy stuff that never makes it into the conversation.

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Even though Aria may feel differently, the fact is that she has no power in this relationship. This is partially due to the age difference but majority of the power imbalance is a result of the student/teacher component. Dating a student is a huge abuse of power regardless of if they are above the age of consent. Teachers have the power to impose some serious consequences if their students don't cooperate with their desires inside or outside of the classroom. 

It's not uncommon for colleges (including the one I attend) to implement policies in order to protect students from this abuse of power. Most students enrolled in college are 18+ so they are able to legally consent to the relationship. However, getting out of the relationship is much more complicated since the threat of an angry ex-partner interfering with your schooling is very real.

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With that being said, it's not really the age gap itself that's the problem-- it's the power imbalance it creates. There are plenty of relationships where the couple is of similar age and power is not evenly distributed, leading to one partner being controlled or exploited. (Click here for more info on Power/Control). But there can also be relationships with large age gaps (granted both parties are legally able to consent) that don't pose a power issue at all. 

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For instance, the only thing wrong with this picture of 38 year old Bradley Cooper and his 22 year old girlfriend Suki Waterhouse is her outfit, not their 16 year age difference. At 22 years old, Suki is legally able to give consent, her brain is pretty much fully developed, and she's a successful model (who unlike me probably pays her own cell phone bill and doesn't live with her parents). Now not every 22 year old is going to be on even footing with a 38 year old, but I'm going to give Suki the benefit of the doubt that due to the nature and success of her career, she's probably pretty mature for her age.

So what's your opinion on Ezra? Is he a keeper or a creeper? Let me know in the comments! NO SPOILERS PLEASE!! Like I said before, if you want to discuss the finale, leave it in my ask on Tumblr! Also, keep in mind I haven't read the books :)

Friday's Fashion Finds: LC Lauren Conrad

I have to be honest with you, when I think back to the Laguna Beach days, I'm a Team Kristin girl at heart. But one thing I can give Lauren credit for is that her fashion sense is spot on. I was checking out her collection for Kohl's online (and despite it being a bit pricey for a broke college girl like me) the pieces are absolutely to die for. Not to mention the photo shoot itself is flawless. She has two collections out right now, but all my favorites came from her "Blue Mood" line.

Look #1

(Find it at Kohls)

There are so many things that I'm loving about this outfit. The cut of the skirt is perfect for me since I prefer flowy things for day time (and really all the time). Floral prints are one of my favorite things for spring (I know,  florals? for spring? groundbreaking!) I just love soft feminine looks and the chiffon blouse with a floral skirt is so light and romantic. It's definitely something I want to wear this season.

Look #2

(Find it at Kohls)

You may have noticed a pattern sneaking into all my fashion posts recently and that would be blazers! I'm really gravitating towards a more put together look these days, especially as I start to enter the professional world and you never know when you'll run into a networking opportunity! Again, I love the shape of the skirt! I think it tones down the outfit and makes it appropriate for wearing out and about. Plus, even though they're technically different blouses, you could definitely use the same white top to recreate both of the first two outfits!

Look #3

(Find it at Kohls)

And we're back to the florals! I love this button down, and I also love it paired with the lighter wash jeans. As much as I love to look at skirts and dresses, I'm always more comfortable in pieces that are a bit more casual, so this is a more realistic look for me. I feel like this is a perfect transition look from spring into winter because you get the aesthetics of spring without having to sacrifice warmth just yet.

Overall, I am absolutely loving this collection and spring fashion in general. Let me know your favorite spring trends or your style icons in the comments!

Top 5 Tuesday: Preparing for an Interview

Today is a very exciting day for me! I have an interview at a PR company in my area for a summer internship. I'm a little nervous, but I've got my fingers crossed that all will go well and I'll walk in as an applicant and out as an intern!

Since I'm already thinking about my interview process, I thought I'd put together my top 5 tips for acing an interview. So here they are!

1) Pick out your favorite professional outfit!
If you're anything like me, picking out the outfit is both the hardest and the most exciting part. Because after all, when you look good you feel good!

These aren't all the exact pieces I'll be wearing, some are just close matches I found on Polyvore!

Option #1 is probably what I'm going to go for since I'm having an individual interview. I'm not positive what the feel of the office is, so I'd rather be over dressed than under. I'll be rocking a blazer that I just got from H&M with the cuffs rolled up to break up all the black. (I may or may not have gone around the store rolling up all the blazer sleeves to see if they were cuffable). I'll pair it with ankle pants I just bought from Target, H&M flats, a Charlotte Russe white lace peplum, and a mint statement necklace from Forever21. 

(Find it on my Polyvore)

If I was having a group interview or if I was going to something like the internship fair (which is where I met this company in the first place) I would wear something that makes me stand out a bit more. I really like pastel pencil skirts for the spring (I have a mint one from Forever21 that is to die for). I pair mine with those nude heels from Payless, and I have a white lace tank similar to this one which I got from H&M. I would ideally pair it with a white blazer, but I don't have that so I wore mine with a white cardigan. I think working in my colors to an interview outfit can really make an impression!

2) Google the company

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Chances are their going to ask you questions about their company. What makes you want to work there? What's your favorite thing about their company? Your favorite product, service, etc.? So do your research before you go! Pick a few things you that stand out to you from their mission statement and maybe from other parts of their website. It'll be helpful for sure.

(Tip: If you're going to try and be sneaky and look up who you're interviewing with on LinkedIn--make sure you go anonymous first. You don't want them to think you're a cyberstalker before you even get in the room)

3) Practice typical interview questions

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You might not know who you're interviewing with, but you can still know what to expect. There are tons of websites that have practice interview questions that you can look at. Some even have message boards where people post questions that specific companies use, so you can see if yours is on there. Either way, you know that there are some classic one's you'll probably be asked. Strengths and weaknesses? Do you prefer working with a team or independently? Describe a time when you've had to overcome a challenge/work with a difficult person/be a leader/etc.

Tip: This is a great time to utilize the information you gained from their website and the job description. If they say one of their core company values is teamwork PLEASE don't say one of your weaknesses is working with others! 

4) Prepare questions for the interviewers

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Nothing impresses an interviewer more than a candidate taking an interest in the company. At the end of any interview, they'll probably ask you if you have any questions for them. DON'T JUST SAY NO! This is still your chance to shine! Coming prepared with some meaningful questions shows that your level of interest in the job/company is high and shows that you actually care about the opinions of the people sitting across from you. 

5) Rock it

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Now that you've spent some time preparing, you're ready to go in and kill it. Be confident! If you act confident, then you'll feel confident and it'll show! You already know that you're going to be the best intern ever, so now you just have to show them that.

Do you have any interview stories to share? Leave your own tips and tricks in the comments!

Review: 10k Trainer- Run for Pink

I feel like I've started every post recently with some comment about the weather. So this one why not do it one more time? Since it's starting to warm up and the snow is melting, it's finally good weather for outdoor runs! I'm definitely the kind of person who goes through phases when it comes to exercise regimens. I'm either bouncing between different ones or not doing any at all. Last fall I did find one that I really liked though! It was an app that helped you train for a 10k over 14 weeks.

The app is called 10k Trainer- Run for Pink and it's free in the App Store. I know it definitely works with Apple products since that's what I use, but I'm not positive if it's compatible with Androids. It's structured on a 14 week schedule if you only run 3 days a week. When I was using it I was running about 4-5 days since that's what I felt like doing, so I was moving through the program a little faster.

This is what the program looks like. For each week you run the same set of intervals. It gives you a summary at the top of what you'll be doing and it also keeps the time for each exercise. What I love about this is that you can hook it up to a playlist by hitting the music note button, but it will still tell you when it is time to switch intervals. There's different settings but I have mine set to chime and say "begin walking" and "begin running" when it's time for me to switch. It also will tell you how long to run/walk for in the center and then it shows how much time has passed/is left overall in each of the smaller circles.

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They make this app for a 5k and for a half marathon (although the half marathon one is not free). I did it for about 4 weeks in the fall before it got cold (and I got lazy) and I really enjoyed it. Now I've started it over from the beginning and I completed Day #1 yesterday. You can go at your own pace, and as someone who isn't in the best shape ever I find that the recovery intervals are long enough that the work out is challenging but doable. If you run the same route everyday you can actually feel yourself getting faster since you'll be at different points when the intervals switch!

How do you feel about exercise apps? Do you have any that you love? Any running tips for us? Leave them in the comments!

Friday's Fashion Finds: Coral

So the weather has been teasing us lately, giving us a taste of spring and then following up with snow the next day. I have faith that warm weather is right around the corner though! 

Nothing says spring time to me like fun colors! Lately I've been lusting after all things coral. So here are a few of my favorite pieces.

(The Happy Wardrobe)

Not only am I loving the fact that a I could potentially get my hands on a coral blazer (did I mention my recent obsession with blazers?) but I love the way this is styled! I love the idea of pairing it with a statement necklace, and the jeans make it into an outfit that I could wear to class which is ideal for me since I don't have a reason to get dressed up too often. Unfortunately the one from this picture is sold out right now, but there is a very similar one that I saw at Target earlier today (and the target one was cheaper anyway)!!

(River Island)

I'm also in love with this skater skirt. How cute would this be with a chambray button down tucked in?! Or with something white and lace to keep it light for the summer time. (There's still snow on the ground here but a girl can dream right?)

(Forever 21)

And finally these earrings! I think I bought this exact pair already in mint and I love them. I may actually pick them up in coral as well. I've been really into bold accessories lately, but dangle earrings have never been for me. Some thing like this is perfect though! There's nothing I love more than a pair of sassy studs.

What's your favorite color for the spring time? Let me know in the comments!

Top 5 Tuesday: TV Shows to Finish

I don't know about how it's been for the rest of you, but this school year has been pretty hectic for me. Not quite as much time to devote to Netflix, and thus I have fallen behind in many a show. I've definitely had to prioritize my television lately, especially over the course of the last year or two. But with spring break coming up next week I can hopefully schedule in some time to turn off my brain and enjoy some (not so?) quality television.

Here's a list of the Top 5 TV Shows I haven't finished. No spoilers please!!

1) Gossip Girl

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So I'm not going to lie, I may or may not have tuned in for the series finale of Gossip Girl after neglecting it for 2 seasons. It's so unlike me because I absolutely hate to have endings spoiled for me! BUT THEY WERE REVEALING GOSSIP GIRL, I HAD TO WATCH. Regardless, I could use a good throw back and am eager to watch the early episodes where they all look so young--Jenny actually looks like a normal person! Plus that's where all the good drama was in my opinion.

But for those of you who don't watch it's a show about rich kids living in the Upper East Side of NYC (my favorite kind of show whether it's scripted or not!). 

They start off being ridiculous in high school and move on to being ridiculous in college. 

2) Breaking Bad

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I know what you're thinking, "Elise! This show is actually...good." Breaking Bad definitely isn't the kind of smut I normally watch. I actually made it through the first 3 seasons of this last year and I know I need to put this one to the top of the list of shows to finish!  With all the hype this show has I don't know how the ending hasn't been spoiled for me yet. I'm definitely playing with fire though. I've been putting it off because I know I need to start from the beginning in order to get back into it but that's so many hours of TV!

But basically, sad little chemistry teacher gets diagnosed with cancer. Sells meth to pay for chemo. Mayhem ensues.

3) Modern Family

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GUYS MODERN FAMILY IS SO FUNNY. It also wins the Emmys every year (because it's great, duh). I feel off the Modern Family train right around the time they aged up Lily. Although I do miss the babies who only had one facial expression, I do need to give the new little girl a shot. There is no excuse for falling behind on this one because you don't even need to watch them in order! (But like I mentioned spoilers are the bane of my existence so I watch EVERYTHING in order).

If you've never seen it (shame on you) it's about a giant blended family whose daily lives play out in hilarious shenanigans.

4) Grey's Anatomy

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I feel obligated to finish this one out because I devoted so many hours of my life to this show. I have such a love/hate relationship with this show! There have been so many times where I felt like it would have been the perfect time to end it, but then they introduce a TON of new cast members (who you obviously automatically hate because they're competing with your favorites!) and insist on writing more episodes. Then just when you fall in love with it again, the cycle continues.

Hot doctors having sex with other hot doctors. Occasionally they perform surgery.

5) The Office

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It wasn't the same without Michael Scott! Now don't get me wrong, it was still good, but it was much easier to brush aside after Steve Carell left. I heard the finale was great though, and I only have like half a season left to watch, so I need to watch it ASAP (because by now you know how I feel about spoilers!)

What you wish your office job was actually like. Crazy boss supervises crazy staff while they sell paper to crazy people.

Are any of these shows on your list of ones to finish? Have you already watched and loved them all? Let me know in the comments!

Unhealthy Relationships ft. Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag

Meet Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. They got their claim to fame by starring in MTV’s reality television show The Hills from 2006-2010. Now while The Hills certainly doesn’t constitute cinematic genius, by documenting Spencer and Heidi’s relationship it does give us a pretty clear model of what an unhealthy relationship looks like. Most viewers recognize that Spencer is a little weird, but do they see that his behavior is actually classified as abuse? Because it is.

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So let’s go over some general information about partner abuse.

Abuse may not be apparent at first. You don’t typically go out with someone for the first time and have the person reach across the table and slap you, yet there are so many relationships where there are instances of physical abuse. So how does it happen? Gradually. Most times abusers seem very loving in the beginning of the relationship. They are often very attentive, affectionate, etc. Abusive behavior appears gradually and may not ever be physical in nature. A lot of time people think that abuse is limited to physical harm or aggression but that is not true. It’s really just about gaining power and control over the other person in any way, shape, or form. (We’ll go into that later).We can see this with Spencer and Heidi. He was pretty normal in the beginning and didn’t really get weird until she was more committed to the relationship.

There is a cycle of abuse. The cycle of abuse can make things very confusing for the victim and therefore it can be very difficult for them to leave the relationship. The cycle occurs as tension builds in the relationship leading to an outburst of some kind. This can take the form of a physical attack, a verbal assault, emotional abuse, threats, etc. After the outburst the abuser will try to apologize or place blame elsewhere and then the couple will enter the “honeymoon phase.” The abuser may shower the victim with gifts, be extra affectionate, and basically tries to make up for the incident. As time goes on, outbursts become more frequent and the honeymoon periods become fewer and farther between. This cycle often leaves the victim feeling like they instigated the incident because sometimes their partner really is “nice”.

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I know Spencer and Heidi have recently done a tell-all interview with E! where they explain that their ups and downs were largely exaggerated for the show. There has been speculation for years on if the show is real or fake, but one thing is for sure, Spencer's behavior follows my HDFS textbooks to a T. I'm assuming The Hills didn't hire a social scientist to walk Spencer through how to dominate his wife according to clinical models, so I'd say at least some of what we saw on T.V. was the real deal.

So why is Spencer's behavior so problematic? Allow me to show you.

This is the Power and Control Wheel. It’s a great tool for seeing some of the more “subtle” signs of an abusive relationship. This is where we really see Spencer Pratt come into play. The wheel does a pretty good job of describing each component of abuse, so I’m just going to focus on identifying the aspects of Spencer’s behavior that are problematic.

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Using Isolation- This is the big one with Spencer. He is constantly trying to isolate Heidi from her friends and family. He guilts her whenever she tries to hang out with Lauren or any of her other friends. In the New Years Eve episode which I was watching this morning he refers to Heidi’s friends and family as “baggage” that he has to deal with and says that he wishes they could go home but Heidi “has another boyfriend named Lauren Conrad that they need to go meet.” He also puts a ton of pressure on Heidi to move in with him very rapidly, and when she declines, he makes her feel terrible about it, and then buys the place anyway! Isolation is a big strategy for abusers because by eliminating the victim’s social network they take away resources for leaving, cause the victim to be emotionally dependent on the abuser, and eliminate people who may question the health of the relationship. A lot of people interpret this as “my partner loves me so much, they want me all to themselves!!” The truth is, once your partner tries to isolate you this is a HUGE red flag that something is not okay.

Using Economic Abuse & Using Male Privilege- These ones really go hand in hand when it comes to Heidi and Spencer buying their house. Spencer took it upon himself to buy the house that he wanted and didn’t discuss the purchase with Heidi before he bought it. By doing this he didn’t give value to her opinion and took ultimate control of the situation (male privilege) and made a HUGE financial decision behind her back (economic abuse).

Using Emotional Abuse- This is also where the guilt comes in. Spencer is the king of making Heidi feel like all the negativity that he brings to her life is her fault. If she accuses him of being unreasonable he freaks out and tells her it’s all in her head and she’s being crazy and demanding. Not sure if he intentionally tried to lower her self esteem but judging by all the surgeries she got to change her body I would assume he had something to do with her dislike of her body and her desire to be perfect.

Using Children- You may think that because Heidi and Spencer don’t have children that he can’t possibly be using their children against her. Wrong. Once Spencer and Heidi get marriage Spencer refuses to consider having children and even tries to get a vasectomy behind Heidi’s back. I would say that technically counts as “threatening to take the children away.” It also falls into the category of male privilege since he feels he has the exclusive right to make their reproductive decisions.

Using Intimidation & Using Coercion and Threats- I personally don’t see a lot of evidence of these in Spencer and Heidi’s relationship. However, whether they were occurring in private, or not at all, doesn't change the fact that Heidi and Spencer's relationship is considered extremely unhealthy. If your partner uses ANY of these strategies in attempts to control you, that is enough for the relationship to considered problematic and possibly dangerous (things usually escalate!)

Resources for anyone who is being affected by domestic abuse

http://www.thehotline.org/

http://www.womenslaw.org/

Friday's Fashion Finds: Denim on Denim

Not sure what the weather is like for the rest of the country, but here in CT, February has been one snowy month. However, it's March now and I'm praying to the weather gods for sunshine and temperatures above freezing, because I am officially snowed-out and ready for spring.

So I have to admit, I've been seeing a lot of the denim on denim trend and I am diggin' it. I'm definitely going to give it a go this spring. In my own personal wardrobe, I some how managed to find all the pieces that make up this lovely Gap ensemble which I think is just the cutest thing!

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Mix it.

After looking at a lot of pictures of this trend, I pinpointed some important aspects that made it work for me. For instance, I really gravitated towards the mixing of washes and really prefer dark wash on bottom and light wash on top.

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Layer it.

I also had a strong preference for looks that had a third piece of a different fabric. In the picture above, she has styled it with a white patterned sweater, in the Gap outfit the denim button down is left open to reveal the white tank top, and in this picture below it's paired with a white blazer. To me the extra piece makes it more wearable and less in your face.

(Source- Sincerely Jules)

Accessorize it.

If you don't want a third piece, I think the right accessories can be enough to break it up in the same was as a jacket or sweater could. I loved the skinny neon belt in this look and the fact that the shirt has the polka dot pattern really softens it up for me.

(Source- GBO Fashion)

However, please be careful with this trend darlings, we don't want a repeat of 2001.

(Source)

So thanks for giving this a read, and if you want to follow some super fashionable ladies, just click through the source of the pictures!

Let me know what spring fashion trend you're most looking forward to in the comments!